A Green Leaf In Drought

God has been showing me so much good stuff lately!
You know, I haven't struggled with insecurities since I was like...13. But becoming an intern really brought out a lot of new insecurities! It was so odd! Suddenly I was comparing myself to every other girl intern and thinking "man, I don't have that gift or that awesome personality trait!" I was getting super down on myself! It was actually quite distracting and stupid. But then one night I got such peace. God just let me know that "You aren't like everyone else! You CAN'T be! You are fearfully, wonderfully, and UNIQUELY made! I gave them their great gifts and traits and I gave you yours. Now don't you dare diminish those thing by comparing." It really gave me such a peace to be myself. To be my funky self. It's quite nice actually.

Also, it's been so lovely to get to know the AVFL girls more. It' so sad that they will be leaving in two weeks! Last week the girls in my dorm came home late from their Slovenia trip and one by one they came into our room, ran up to my bunk, and hugged me with such sweet, excited smiles. It's just such a joy to me to see how God is filling them and growing them! I don't even mind being woken up by their arrivals. This week they are serving in gypsy villages in Romania. Can't wait til they get home!

In other news, I got my root canal officially finished and my visa is now in the process of getting renewed! It's been a full week of all the little details of these things. It's these little things that make me feel like I really live in Hungary. Those little real life things :)

It's so crazy that in just a month students for the Fall semester will be arriving. I am so excited to prepare for them. I just keep thinking of how I can pray for the girls I'm going to be with and how I can bless and encourage them. I seriously love the job of descipling. It's an honor to be a part of girls' lives!!!!
And I'm already praying about where I will be leading my first ten day mission trip. China? Romania? Slovenia? So many opportunities!! I'm so thankful to be able to minister in so many different places. I can't wait to see where God takes me after this internship (although I don't really need to worry about that now!) I just can't imagine myself back in the States. I want to go where the gospel isn't really available! We'll see! :)
Let's enjoy this year first.

If you would like to donate to my internship costs please donate on paypal to roxannemallos91@gmail.com !
DONATE! (if you feel it!)

An Overflow

My heart is overflowing with a good theme;

I recite my composition concerning the King;

My tongue is the pen of a ready writer. Psalm 45:1

My heart truly is overflowing. I am so abundantly blessed. 

Sunday I got to travel to Budapest with my dear friend Chelsea to meet up with some friends from my home church in California. Some of my old bible college friends also joined up with us. It was so surreal to see them here in HUNGARY! We went to the church that they had been serving at and it was so great to see how they blessed them with a great VBS for the children at the church. It was a double blessing because I wont be seeing my California friends for another year, as I wont be going to California for Christmas. And a TRIPLE blessing still because they were able to bring over to me some clothes that my mom gathered for me, and toothbrushes, and vitamins, and all those little things you take for granted when you live right by convenience stores. 

This week the conference is for the Golgota Budapest Youth Conference. I'm so excited to serve these kids and see them grow in the Lord this week.
The Budapest church is raising up some wonderful young men and ladies. My dining room crew has been so amazing (they are from the Budapest youth). They even come to serve when they aren't even scheduled to do so! Such servant hearts!!!

It's becoming a little easier to be a leader...but I still have quite a ways to go. Luckily, I have 12 and a half more months to be built up in this way. Praise the Lord for wanting to grow me...because I am quite inadequate on my own. 

And I am just so thankful for the pastoral staff and their wives here. They are so encouraging and so willing to be involved in our lives and see us grow. They have certainly been such great council in my life recently especially as I pray and submit to God in certain things. God is definitely giving me plenty opportunity these days to practice submitting to His authority. I'm actually reading a rather good book that touches on this subject: 

"To have God’s best, we must unconditionally surrender our lives to Him, which includes submission to our delegated authorities. This choice, however, will not come without suffering in the flesh. The old habits we have grown up with as rebellious children of Adam don’t die easily. But there is one thing I am certain of: Anyone who deeply hungers to know the living God and to touch godliness will relentlessly pursue submission to God and His authority."

-Yohannan, K.P.  

In other news, Noemi (the woman I taught English to last semester who became quite a nice friend) invited me to her new home in Paks. I hope to go visit her very soon! I'm so happy that even though she has moved, she still wants to continue this friendship we have. Pray for her!

I haven't had much time to go out to the village these days, unfortunately. I miss the kids quite a lot. Please pray that I get more opportunity to do this. In the moments where I do have time I am just so tired that I just want to sit and rest! But I do hope to make a trip out to hang out in the village sometime this week since the AVFL kids are gone to Slovenia for the week. 

So that's whats up these days! :)

Where Can I Go?

I had a moment this morning where I finally understood a verse that wasn't clear to me for awhile now.
It's from Psalm 139:

Where can I go from Your Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your presence?

8 

If I ascend into heaven, You are there;

If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.

And then I realized, in my past there were a couple years in there that were absolute hell on earth for me. And worst of all, many parts of my hell I had created for myself. I had made my bed in hell. 

And in the moment I definitely didn't feel like God was there with me. But now looking back I can see specific moments and happenings that show me God was definitely there and definitely protecting me from much more destruction that I would have inflicted on myself. 

I've been to my own hell, God was there.

I'm now pursuing Him right back, and God is here.

One day, I'll get to ascend into heaven, and God will be there; 

waiting for me with open arms. 

Merp.

I always think of really good blog ideas with really clever titles...but then I actually sit down to the computer to write and nothing comes out.
It's quite frustrating! So without any quirky title or interesting hooks i will just tell you that I have been so ridiculously busy these past couple weeks. Internship has been a whirlwind, especially since it is the summer conference season which is absolutely busy. I am overseeing a dining room, which means working every meal every day, plus turn around on Saturday. It's a lot of hours; but honestly...I love it! It's like working a real job again and I've actually missed that very much. I also have quite a lovely, hardworking crew with me. I'm still learning how to balance friendship and authority, but God is gracious with me in these things.

The AFVL students are here for 6 weeks learning the bible in block classes and going on outreaches every week. It's been special to get to know these kids as well. Well, I shouldn't say kids...some of them are actually older than me! I don't get to see them too often since I'm not an AVFL intern, but I am a "dorm mom" to about 10 of them and I get to hang out from time to time. I really am honored to get to pour into them when I get a chance. They are so sweet and open to what the Lord wants to do with their lives. Some of them may even come back for the semester, and then I will really get to spend time with them. The picture below is from the girl's bible study at Kim's on Monday.
This Sunday I get to see my friends from Califonia, from my home church, in Budapest because they happen to be in Hungary for a missions trip! It's going to be so weird for my two worlds to collide in such a way but I'm so excited!! It'll be great to see them and they are blessing me as well by bringing me some clothes and stuff I left behind. So that will be a treat!

Personally, God has been speaking to me about 'holding fast to Him and to wait on Him in many specific things that aren't fit for social media. He's really given me quite a peace that surpasses all understanding. Today I read Psalm 39:11 and it so spoke to me: “And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You."
I wait on the Lord. I don't wait for anyone or anything else. My hope is in Him alone!

And I have no idea what the future holds. All I know is that I'm here for another year and God is going to do much! And I know that after that I want to live a life totally for Him, forever getting to know Him more and serve Him :)

Whirlwind

I don't know how to describe the past couple weeks.
Going from serving in Pecs, to Greece, then back to Vajta to start my internship has been an absolute whirlwind. I feel like I finally felt culture shock for the first time. I've gone through all these different experiences and haven't had time to process a thing. I barely have time to even write out this post!
The first couple days of internship were really hard and emotionally trying. Anyone who saw me could see the fear in my eyes! It's really difficult to transition from being a student to an intern, especially after being away for over a month. I was feeling inadequate and overwhelmed, but I talked it out and definitely prayed it out and yesterday everything switched in a moment. My countenance suddenly lifted and I went from feeling like I wanted to run away to feeling that hope which I love so much. I'm starting to settle in and figure out how summers work around here. I'm also learning how to balance being an authority with also being available and loving to those I have to sometimes have authority over. It's weird!!
But in it all God is good and I very much look forward to what He has to teach me and use me for in this upcoming year of internship :)

More update to come whenever I have time :)





Paypal account: Donate! (if it's on your heart to do so!)